I recently started coaching a high school sports team. One of the most awful things the coaching staff has to do is pick a team and make cuts. While we love telling kids they made the team we also have the unpleasant task of telling some kids that this was not their year.
It hurts being cut from a team. I’ve made a lot of teams but I’ve also not been selected for teams. So I understand what it is like to get the news from the coach who tells you thank you for coming out but you aren’t on the team.
What was interesting in all this was the response from the parents.
As a mom I understand the desire to protect our kids, the need to keep them safe, and make sure they don’t get hurt. However I think we do our kids a disservice when we try so hard to protect our kids by coming to their rescue and making things alright.
Hurt is part of life. Disappointments happen. We don’t always get what we want. We have to learn to cope.
In the moments where we don’t get what we want, we find out who we are and we find out what we are made of. We also find out if the thing we didn’t get was worth fighting for.
It is a painful lesson but it is an important lesson.
When we take this away from our kids by trying to protect them, what are we really teaching them?